Ghost of you and me

Tonight was the BCS championship game. Alabama vs. Norte Dame. I picked the fighting Irish and they basically lost it before halftime. This reminds me of a year ago last year. I was watching this game with the ex. We were staying in Laguna Beach at a hotel for a week. The room had a kitchen and we made dinner. Well, he made dinner. I helped. And with the window open, the ocean right outside our window, we saw Alabama win over my team which was Louisiana. This isn't the first time I have thought about the ex recently. Mainly because we spent 11 great days together last year in Laguna, one of my fave places ever. Then 4 days later we broke up. But those 11 days were fun, relaxing. And this is the time I miss him the most. Hell, I even dreamt about him last night!

I am not completely over him, but I am leap and bounds better than I was months after the breakup. Those first 3 months were a nightmare. I was a mess all the time. I was on auto pilot. Got up, went to work, came home, fell asleep. I did go out to my best friend's birthday... which was held in Laguna, dinner at a restaurant my ex and I frequented when in Laguna, and drinks at a bar with patio... less than 200 feet from the room where we spent those 11 days. Oh, that was painful. But time dulls the pain. But the memories still sting at times.




Tonight I'm feeling a little sad. I texted him tonight about who he wanted to win. He picked the roll tide. Good choice. When we communicate I wonder... does he miss me? Did he hurt like I did after our breakup? He never fought for me, for what we had when we broke up. Does he regret it? And... are you with someone new? Have you slept with anyone else? Eww, never mind. I would never want to know. But I miss him, at times like these. Was he the love of my life (even though he never loved me back)?

But I'm glad we are friendly. And that time has lessened the pain in my heart. In 2013, I hope to continue with my journey to overcome.

Have you ever been heartbroken? Sucks, huh?